Overcoming Disappointment

This morning as I drove to my office, I noticed I was driving slower than normal. You see, I typically have what my mother refers to as a “lead foot”. I prefer to say I drive like I have somewhere to be. To put it plainly, if I could drive as fast as I wanted, I’d be one happy lady. Nevertheless, this morning I found myself driving 30 mph in a 35 mph zone. I wasn’t sure why. I was just moving slowly and steadily towards the office as I listened to an audiobook. As it occurred to me that I was actually going slower than the speed limit, I decided to press the gas, but just as I made the decision, I also noticed the traffic light ahead of me was red. No use increasing my speed, when I was going to have to stop in a few feet, so I continued to drive slowly. Then, in a matter of seconds, the light turned green. Still, for some unknown reason, I did not increase my speed. And then it happened… a car came barreling through the intersection. The driver ran the red light. Had I increased my speed at any point, I would have lawfully driven through a green light, but a speeding car would have crashed right into me. And that’s when it hit me (no pun intended)… moving slowly was not only God’s protection for me, but it was also an opportunity to teach me a lesson. Like many of you, I’ve wondered over the last couple of years, why I am only seeing slow steady growth in my business. I desire to see a boom… a MAJOR increase… an EXPLOSION of growth! I’ve worked for it, prayed for it, and studied for it! I have the systems in place to support such growth. I’ve set my life up so that when it happens, nothing else will fall through the cracks. Yet, it hasn’t happened. There has been growth for sure, but not the growth I see when I pray or simply daydream with God about my life and business. Once I made it into the office this morning, I sat with the following questions: What has my slow and steady pace protected me from? What danger is lurking just up ahead that I can’t see? I don’t have answers to these questions yet, but I want to pose the same questions to you. If you’ve been frustrated or disappointed that your business growth plans have not worked the way you thought they would, I want you to reflect on my story of protection from this morning. While, I would have been “in the right” had I cruised through the green light at 30 miles per hour, I would have, without a doubt, been involved in a serious car accident. The other car made no effort whatsoever to slow down. Sometimes, even when you are doing all of the right things, you may not see the result you desire. Your business may not hit that coveted 7 figures a year mark. Your company may not break industry records. Your book may never hit the bestsellers list. But none of that means you are in the wrong. In fact, like my situation this morning, it may mean you are being protected from a danger you cannot see. Take heart. Doing all the right things will eventually get you to the desired destination, but sometimes the WHEN is just as important as the WHAT. Arriving at the right destination too quickly can be dangerous! We all know the story of the tortoise and the hare. Yet, no one wants to be the tortoise. We tend to lean towards the run as fast as you can strategy of the hare, even though we know the outcome of the story. Today, I encourage you to re-evaluate your perception of your progression and speed. It’s not about how fast you get there. It’s much more important that you get there safely. Speed is often not sustainable. This is why long distance runners pace themselves. They are in it for the long haul and know they will run out of steam if they start too quickly. They understand and actively practice the art of pacing themselves. If you intend for your business to stand the test of time, slow and steady is the way to go. Building slowly creates sustainability. Sustainability is required for longevity. I realized many years ago I did not want to go viral and not have any backend systems in place to capitalize on a viral moment. More eyes on you do not always equate to more commas in your bank account. Instead, I prefer to slowly build momentum until the right TIMING collides with the right OPPORTUNITY. That's when I know I'll be ready for the growth and expansion. Somewhere I forgot this train of thought. I believe you may have too. That's why I felt compelled to share my experience with you. Go back to what you know to be true about your business and destiny. Meditate on those things...turn them over and over in your mind. Then, write down the small steps you can take immediately that will slowly and steadily move you towards your goal. If you need help defining these steps, message me. I'm here to help. I’m rooting for you, Otescia

Life can come at you hard and fast. Having a system to help ground you can be the difference between living life and feeling like your life is beating the life out of you.

I recently saw an Instagram post written by @everything_elisabeth where she discussed the online backlash she received when she booked the Oprah Winfrey Show. People were debating whether or not she deserved the opportunity and exposure that came with being Oprah’s guest. In the caption of the post, she stated she didn’t care whether or not people felt she deserved to be on the show. She was there and it changed her life (my paraphrase). Her post got me to thinking… What do I deserve? And what have I subconsciously blocked myself from receiving because I wasn’t sure if I deserved it yet ? What imaginary finish line had I established that would make me deserving of great opportunities? As you may already know, I’ve penned and published 17 books, journals, and planners. I’ve also written 1 feature film, 2 short screenplays, countless blogs, and multiple magazine articles (look for publication of these soon :-) ). Since November 2015, I have worked as a full-time writer and entrepreneur. And yet, reading that Instagram post made me ask myself, “Otescia, what do you deserve? What are you really ready to receive?” That’s when it hit me. Why haven’t I boldly accepted the fact that I am walking in what I am questioning? Why did I question my own readiness when I am already enjoying the beginning stages of what I deserve! Wheeeewwww! That was a mouthful of a revelation for me. I’m no longer striving to become a successful entrepreneur, I AM a successful entrepreneur. I am no longer praying for the opportunity to wake up every day and do what I love, I get to do so each and every day! I am living in what I prayed for yesterday and the only person questioning whether or not I deserve it, was me! But here's the real kicker, whether or not I thought I deserved it, doors were still opening, my books were still selling, opportunities were still being presented to me. Just as the opinion of the online trolls had no bearing on Elisabeth's success, my self-doubt hasn't stopped any of what God has ordained for my life! Like the poster, it's time for me (and you) to change the internal conversation from one of "Do I deserve this?" to "I deserve this AND more!" As these revelations rolled through me, I spoke an affirmation statement that is now written on a sticky note on the front of my computer. I deserve every single opportunity and door God opens for me. I am worthy! I have earned it! Imagine how freeing it must be to truly love and accept yourself so much that you completely ignore the comments of internet trolls. I recently shared during a live video that a troll’s comments never hurt unless the hearer finds truth in them. If Elisabeth didn’t know she deserved to sit on Oprah’s stage, the trolls could have ruined a really beautiful moment for her life and career. Even worse, the troll’s comments could have caused her to reject what she was already walking in. Reader, I want to challenge you to sit for a moment and think about what you deserve. Think about all the things you’ve subconsciously blocked and ask yourself how you can open your mind and spirit to receive what is already yours. Our collective days of talking ourselves out of embracing and enjoying what we have worked so hard to achieve are over. If no one else cheers for you, become comfortable cheering for yourself. If no one else throws you a celebratory party, throw your own party complete with balloons, confetti, and gifts. Listen… we teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. Get busy loving you, celebrating you, and embracing the joy of today that was birthed out of the tears of yesterday. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, I deserve this and that’s all that matters!

What do you want? (Imagine Noah yelling at Allie in The Notebook. That's the intensity I want you to maintain as you read this post.) This is a question God challenged me with almost five years ago. I was fresh off the biggest failure of my entrepreneurial career. I’d invested almost $4500 into a launch and only earned $1100. At that time, losing $3400 felt like the end of the world! My business was still an infant, and my family NEEDED that money. I was crushed! My husband has always been incredibly supportive of my entrepreneurial journey and offered me as much comfort as possible, but nothing he said soothed the feelings of failure and disappointment. I cried, cried, and cried some more. I yelled at God, “I don’t understand! I did what you said! Why didn’t this work? All these people sign up for my free offerings and they flock to hear me pray, but they won’t actually buy anything!” That may sound harsh, but it was my truth, and I knew God didn’t mind me saying what was already in my heart. Instead of God giving me direct answers, He took me to His written word: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life.” -Proverbs 13:12 (AMP) Suddenly, a different type of tear began to roll down my cheeks. I felt such an overwhelming amount of gratitude as revelation hit me in waves. I’d said things like, “If just one person is helped by this, I’ll be satisfied. If I can just help one person, it will all be worth it.” The truth was, I didn’t want to help one person. I wanted to help 1 million people. I wanted to touch as many lives as possible. I wanted to create a platform that proved doing business God’s way would always yield greater results than doing business the world’s way. I wanted to show everyone who would tune in what happens when you trust God with every area of your life. I also wanted to break the generational curse of poverty. I wanted to set my children up for financial success. I wanted to establish trust funds for them and my future grandchildren. I wanted to experience the kind of luxury that comes with a life well-lived. I desired a new home, a new car, and a few vacation properties. I wanted what God revealed to me in my dreams to manifest in my everyday life! So, why was I lying to myself? In that moment, God was revealing the source of my lack of success. It was caused by my false humility and fear of asking for what I really wanted. Pretending I only cared about reaching one soul wasn’t humility. IT WAS A LIE, a lie I’d heard others say in church and adopted as my own. I was afraid of asking God for massive success because if I asked for it, I had to believe for it. If I believed for it, and didn’t receive it, I’d be crushed if it didn’t work out. I was self-protecting, and it was literally causing my heart to become sick. I had a thought process that said, “I’ll help the one today and one day, God will cause me to help millions of people around the world.” The problem with this type of thought process is it literally prevents you from seeing the success God has ordained for you. It always places your faith and hope in a day that is not promised to you. Then when today does not go as you really desire, the familiar feelings of disappointment and depression rush to wrap their paralyzing arms around you. When God revealed Proverbs 13:12 to me, it all began to make sense. My heart felt sick because my hope was deferred. God was inviting me to partner with Him to receive the things I truly desired. The only thing I had to do was tell Him what I really wanted. I had to let go of the fear of disappointment and make my requests known to God. I can’t lie and say I wasn’t still afraid, but I trusted God. He was asking me to abandon my fear and trust Him as the One who has my best interest at heart. The thing about God is, He only asks you for what He knows you are able to give. Knowing this truth, I abandoned fear and asked for what I really wanted. God rewarded me with an Ephesians 3:20 response. “Now to Him who is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly more than all that we dare ask or think [infinitely beyond our greatest prayers, hopes, or dreams], according to His power that is at work within us,” – Ephesians 3:20 (AMP) Asking God for what I really wanted gave me more than I ever imagined. Being honest about my desires wasn’t a setup for failure. It was an invitation to receive God’s bounty of abundance. It was a call to a lifestyle of greater faith and execution and it changed my life. I am the exception to the rule because I serve an exceptional God who asked me to be honest with Him about my exceptional desires. If you're tired of saying one thing when you really mean another, it's time to stop saying the "religious" things and search your heart for the truth. What is it that you really want? If failure wasn't an option, what would you ask God for? Grab your journal and find a quiet place to sit. Clear your mind of the day's clutter and search your heart to answer the following question. WHAT DO YOU WANT? When the answer comes, write it all down, then read it aloud to God. He's waiting to give you the desires of your heart.

Those were the words my then 16-year-old son said to me when I questioned him about flirting with so many girls. (Thank God he is a married faithful man now. Prayer works!) While my son was applying a basketball statement to dating, I was reminded of his words during a recent planning meeting with a new strategic partner. I’d asked the gentleman why he never told me about his interest to venture into this new area of business and his answer blew me away. "I didn't think you'd work with me because I'm just starting out. I'm not on your level yet." My first thought was, I’m not on whatever level he thinks I’m on. Then I was reminded of my own mindset coaching. Stop downplaying yourself Otescia. After getting myself together, my next thought was, how do I make myself more approachable so that others will feel comfortable pitching their ideas to me. That thought also felt wrong. It is not my responsibility to make someone else feel like they are on a high enough “level” to pitch to me. I am responsible for the way I respond to everyone who does pitch to me. I have a responsibility to be honest. Some people present wonderful ideas, and we end up working together. Others have presented ideas that were not best for me, my business, or my brand. I have a responsibility to be courteous and honest as I decline their offer. But nowhere in this process am I required or responsible for lowering my light so that others can shine.

In the wake of Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday madness, I am in serious reflection mode. I saw so many social media posts about 60% off sales that I honestly stopped paying attention. Instead, I focused on completing my upcoming novella, “A Christmas Baby Miracle.” (shameless plug) You may be wondering why I, a full-time entrepreneur, would choose to ignore one of the busiest purchase times of the year. Well, the answer is simple. My sweet spot is helping newbies or those who’ve yet to launch. I am their pusher… no not that kind , the good kind. I’m the person who gently nudges folks until all they can think about is that book they should be writing or that business they should be launching. Then, I equip them with the tools they need to succeed. For me, watching trends is crucial. Why? Because my target audience is watching those same trends and probably falling for a few okie dokes. This year I noticed there were HUNDREDS of silent authors and entrepreneurs during the busiest shopping days of the year. People I expected to promote their businesses did not make a single post. My inbox received emails from the same faithful few who always email me. It made me ask the question, “If 75% of my friends and followers are business owners, why is my timeline not flooded with offers?” After talking to a few people privately, I noticed a trend. Most of those whose business generates $50k or less (annually) are simply burnt out on putting in the work to create an offer no buys. I get it. Disappointment and fatigue are REAL! In keeping with my goal of equipping you to become the exception to the rule, I want to help you overcome some of the issues that are keeping you from converting your followers into paying customers. So, instead of trying to sell you something today, I’m going to offer some FREE, but very valuable advice. Don’t trip though, I am creating a package for you that will cost you less than a new pair of shoes but will offer THREE trainings that will directly impact your bottom line! Anyhoo… on to today’s FREE goodness! and you’ll change your bottom line!

Early 2019 I dealt with constant neck and upper back pain that was often accompanied by a headache. I went to the doctor and was sent to physical therapy even though my doctor could not identify the cause of the pain. I was also prescribed muscle relaxers which sent me straight to lala land making it impossible for me to get any work done. I ended up hiring extra hands to help me get things done. Then, I had an encounter when I attended the Warriors United Conference that relieved the pain completely. I can’t tell you how excited I was when I realized I could move my neck without feeling excruciating pain. Then, about a month ago, as suddenly as it came on earlier this year, I noticed the pain was creeping up again. I went back through everything in my mind. I spent time trying to locate the cause of the pain. What was I going through that resembled what I was going through earlier this year? I read through my journals and discovered a startling source. It wasn’t a physical health issue. It wasn’t familial stress. My business was hurting, and it was manifesting in my body. The additional hours I was working were taking a toll on my physical body. Once I solved the business pains (Just as I did earlier this year) the pain went away. After doing a little more digging I discovered three reasons your business may be hurting. So, before you run to the doctor, take a look at the list below and take to appropriate actions to relieve the pain in your business.

One of the most asked questions I receive is, “Otescia, how did you go from no one knowing you to where you are today?” The answer is multi-faceted, but I decided to put the biggest game changers I implemented into today’s blog. Happy reading and be sure to share with someone else who is working to go from obscure to booked and busy. There are enough coins floating around for all of us to eat! 1. Get out of your circle! If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say, “I’m an introvert” I would be one wealthy lady! Yes, it’s true, introverts do exist. However, this has become a clever label for those who are afraid of leaving their comfort zone. Bill Gates, JK Rowling, Elon Musk, and Meryl Streep are all self-proclaimed introverts, yet their fortunes, talent, and reputation for breaking barriers are remarkable! They had to keep working rooms full of strange faces until everyone knew their names. Calling yourself an introvert has become an easy excuse to stay in your own bubble. Well, guess what? Your bubble isn’t paying your mortgage. If you want to increase your reach in business, you must consistently reach new people. Get out of the house. Go to a Meetup group. Join a LinkedIn or Facebook group and attend any face to face meeting opportunities. Join a new social club, or new group at church. Ask the person sitting across from you in Starbucks what they do for a living. Connect with people! Businesses sell to people. No one can purchase anything from you or hire you to speak at their event if they don’t know who you are or what you offer. In 2017, I became intentional about expanding my horizons, meeting new people, and making meaningful connections. I have seen a 700% increase in revenue as a result of those efforts. No that wasn’t a typo… my business has grown 700% just from me showing up in rooms where I didn’t know anyone and opening my mouth about who I am and my particular brand of black girl magic. 2. Leverage Social Media Properly One of the things that really grinds my gears is when I see event organizers and entrepreneurs tagging 50 strangers on a post that has nothing to do with them. The other thing I can’t stand is the “Hey girl” or “Hey Love” inbox messages. They are the go-to intros for a poorly written sales pitch. I’m not a girl and I’m not your love. I don’t want to learn how to make more money so that I can quit my day job. I don’t have a day job. The sender would know this IF they’d done their research before messaging me. Instead of following the trends, become intentional about who you connect with on social media and what you share. Stop keeping everything on your page private if you expect to grow your brand. Again… people have to know you to hire you! If you’re concerned about safety, strip your page down to the bare necessities and rebuild it with the highlights and parts of your life you are comfortable sharing. If you’ve perused my social media pages, you’ve learned I only share enough to show that I am in fact a real person with a husband and children. I congratulate and celebrate with my family offline, unless it is a teachable moment I feel my friends and followers can learn from. I have naturally inspired people for as long as I can remember. My social media reflects that side of me. It also shows I am a beast in the worlds of publishing and entrepreneurship… that’s what drives people to seek me out professionally. What does your social media teach potential clients about you? What are you sharing and who are you sharing it with? HINT: If you sell jewelry and your timeline is full of other people who sell jewelry, who are you selling to? Your target audience should be the highest percentage of your friends/followers. 3. Use customer service to help you stand out Every market is saturated with talented individuals. Customer service is one of the easiest ways to ensure customers choose you over your counterpart. No matter how great you are at what you do, no one will want to work with you if you do not understand the basics of servicing a customer. It’s deeper than a polite voice when you answer the phone. Do you answer their questions completely? Do you respond to emails in a timely manner? Do you show up for meetings on time and prepared? Are you creating an overall experience the customer won’t forget? Is your website and on-boarding process user friendly? These are things to ask yourself if you notice customers not returning for future services, or if you are getting bad reviews online. Instead of assuming they are “haters” take a moment to see if there is any truth to what they are saying. Whatever service you provide, there are thousands out there praying a customer would pay them to do the same thing. Remember we are all in this to provide a service. Lead with service and your customers/clients will gladly tell everyone how amazing you are. People may not remember exactly what you said, but they will remember exactly how you made them feel! 4. Learn to master software, systems, and tools If you’re an amazing graphic designer but have no workflows or processes in place to manage your workload, you are setting yourself up to fail. If I submit an inquiry to you and it takes you a week to respond to me because you are manually responding to every inquiry, I’m not going to hire you. What you’ve shown me off the bat is you are spending too much time on things that should be automated so you won’t have enough time to work on my project. It’s important to utilize systems, tools, and automations to make your business run like a well-oiled machine. Also, if I ask you what’s next in the process and you stumble, I’m going to doubt your abilities. Again, you may be great but stumbling to give an off the cuff answer will make me doubt you. Take the time to determine HOW you are going to deliver your products/services so that when the customers do come, you know exactly what is happening at each stage of the process. Let’s recap: Identify what happens from inquiry to closed sale and map that process out. That becomes your initial workflow. Then map out what happens from closed sale to product/service delivery. That becomes your second workflow. (You may be able to combine these depending on your offerings.) Once you have your workflow in place, find a tool to help you automate as many steps as possible. Dubsado is my absolute favorite, but there are others as well. ( Click here to learn more ) Spend time working and reworking your workflow to ensure the process is as efficient as possible. The more efficient you are, the more productive you will be. The more productive you are, the faster you’ll be able to expand. 5. Stay ahead of the game If you desire to really grow your platform, you must always be a student of your field of expertise. Subscribe to magazines, websites, and courses that prepare you for what’s to come. Nothing is worse than connecting with someone who is spouting outdated facts. Every time there is a change in your industry, you need to be one of the first people to know about it. Share what you learn with your followers so that when the next change rolls around, they look to you for help understanding what’s happening. Being an expert requires you to assume the posture of the perpetual student, ever learning and growing so that you can be one of the first teachers of the “new”. Also, look for ways to anticipate what is coming next so that you can prepare your followers for it. When Amazon decided to drop the CreateSpace platform, anyone who was working with me knew the switch was coming and had nothing to worry about because I learned how to publish the paperbacks through KDP as soon as the feature was offered. I saw the writing on the wall. They integrated the technology to do away with CreateSpace. On the other hand, I’m always researching other print on demand and distribution options so that my clients can choose which option works best for them. If KDP went away tomorrow, each one of my clients would be just fine because we have several other affordable options for them. Can you say the same for your industry? Bonus: Your talent only gets you in the room, your character will sustain you. How many times have you heard an amazing singer and wondered why they weren’t more successful? I’ve seen it time and time again. The super talented performer is a pain to work with, shows up late, has a drinking or drug problem… the reasons are endless. No matter how great you are at what you do, people working with you want to connect with you and enjoy being around you. Your platform won’t grow to sustainable levels of success unless you grow. You are your brand. You are your business. Do the personal work to ensure your business gets what it needs to succeed. It does you no good to ensure everyone knows your name if they only have negative experiences to go along with it. Whether you are a novice too afraid to put yourself out there, or a veteran entrepreneur who needs fresh ideas to go beyond where you currently are, each of these tips can help you expand. The key is to consistently grow. To consistently grow, you must consistently learn and implement. At the end of the day, we all want to break barriers and become the exception to the rule. Make the decision today to start the process! If after reading this blog you're thinking, "Man... I don't even know where to start," click here to schedule a FREE discovery call with me.

Welcome to June! For many, the month of June is an exciting time because it brings the official start of the season of vacations and fun in the sun. For others, like myself, summer is a time for fun, but it is also a critical time in business. While our children are saying their goodbyes to teachers and classmates, many of us are scratching our heads asking, “How in the world am I going to work with the kids in the house all summer?” I remember the day my son learned parents still have to work during the summer. He was 7 years old and extremely excited about summer break for the first time. For some reason, he’d planned all these things he wanted to do over the summer. I’m not talking small things like trips to the library or splash days at the water park. No... my son basically wanted one really long, super expensive vacation filled with things I didn’t even know he knew existed. When I explained to him we’d do some of the things on his list, but we wouldn’t be able to do them all because his dad and I still had to work, he was floored. His exact words were, “Why should parents have to work when their kids are out of school?” I remember laughing but agreeing with him. We should all be able to lounge around the pool all day and soak up the beautiful sun, but for many of us, our professions simply demand we do otherwise. That conversation with my son led me to develop summer habits that allowed me to work AND enjoy the water park with the children. As my family has grown and matured, those habits have evolved, but I’d love to share the most successful ones with you here in hopes that your family will also be helped by them.